So many have asked about our adoption story…because they’re considering adoption, love missions, are impressed with our son’s ability to adapt (PRAISE THE LORD)… or for a variety of other reasons.
So we have compiled our story all in one place so we can direct people there and not miss any of the AWESOME things that God has done in our family! It also allows you to read at your convenience rather than visit with us for an hour to get all the details!
If you are considering adoption, WE WILL GLADLY SHARE ALL AND HELP ALL WE CAN…AND PRAY FOR YOU DURING THE PROCESS…so, please tell us so we can celebrate with you!
OUR ADOPTION STORY: How Little Man Came To Be OURS!
We have always been open to the idea of adoption. Early in our marriage, we didn’t know if we’d be able to have children easily because both Steve’s sister and my brother had issues with getting pregnant in their marriages.
Between 2002 and now, we had traveled to Haiti twice and the Dominican Republic twice on mission trips with our church. We also visited an orphanage in Roatan, Honduras one year. Our first trip to Haiti was with 15 other individuals. Throughout that one week, in different villages where we worked, seven different parents tried to hand us their babies and said in Creole “Mwen bi” which means “I give”. In Haiti, 50% of the children die before the age of 15 years and some don’t even name their baby until it is over a month old so they don’t “waste” a name on a child that might die. Our eyes were opened to the needs of the world.
In October 2006, an event was held to assist couples in strengthening their marriage. At that event, Steven Curtis Chapman came and sang “When Love Takes You In” and the music video was shown.
The song that really started it all
WHEN LOVE TAKES YOU IN
by STEVEN CURTIS CHAPMAN
I know you've heard the stories
But they all sound too good to be true
You've heard about a place called home
But there doesn't seem to be one for you
So one more night you cry yourself to sleep
And drift off to a distant dream
Where love takes you in and everything changes
A miracle starts with the beat of a heart
When love takes you home and says you belong here
The loneliness ends and a new life begins
When love takes you in
And somewhere while you're sleeping
Someone else is dreaming too
Counting down the days until
They hold you close and say I love you
And like the rain that falls into the sea
In a moment what has been is lost in what will be
When love takes you in everything changes
A miracle starts with the beat of a heart
And this love will never let you go
There is nothing that could ever
Cause this love to lose its hold
When love takes you in everything changes
A miracle starts with the beat of a heart
When love takes you home and says you belong here
The loneliness ends and a new life begins
When love takes you in it takes you in for good
When love takes you in
In this video were children of all ages and backgrounds who were sad, lonely and parentless who needed and deserved parents to love them. Later in the video, they were being held by parents or walking on the beach holding hands with their parents. Yes, it was only a video, but we found that (in the three minutes of that song) both Steve and I were completely broken. As a matter of fact, I was sobbing and noticed that Steve seemed to be chuckling at me. I was NOT happy about that and turned to slap him on the arm….He was NOT chuckling…We were both sobbing and fully aware that we HAD to adopt. (Very few individuals were reacting in the same manner to the SAME material.)
For the entire month of November 2006, our family decided to pray hard about how God wanted us to proceed. We took the children out to dinner at Olive Garden to talk “seriously” with them and make this a special occasion. They were all three positive. God had prepared THEIR hearts as well. We told them finances would be tighter and they might have to do their regular chores without any allowance… We wanted them to realize this decision WAS going to affect them. One daughter held out her hands like the “scales of justice” and weighed them up and down. She said “Come on. Allowance or a child. Allowance or a child.” We were SO amazed at how mature our children are!
We did not believe we had any clear guidance at the end of November 2006…so we left it with “God will drop a child in our laps.”
In 2007, Steve had a lunch meeting with a church parishioner and the parishioner started telling him about a lady who was pregnant and giving the child up for adoption. We thought THIS might be God’s answer to our prayers. The parishioner told Steve that the grandparents had decided to raise the child…so this was not the answer we were waiting for.
THEN, March of 2008, everything changed! Steve was at a Pastor and Leaders meeting for the church of God. He reconnected with a wonderful friend who had just recently adopted! Steve shared our heart for adoption with her…she said “Steve, sometimes you have to walk through the door that is already open. See if God closes the door.”
AND THAT WAS THE BEGINNING OF OUR JOURNEY!
One Sunday at the close of the sermon, Steve asked for individuals to pray with their family members or those around them. At that time, he came up to me and said we needed to pray about moving forward with our adoption!
WHAT!??
I had patiently waited for those VERY WORDS for 1 year and 4 months… You don’t have to tell me twice. I began searching for an adoption agency the very next week!
We decided to find a quality adoption agency FIRST and then decide which country to adopt from. We chose All God’s Children International because of their amazing orphanage, Hannah’s Hope. They have a Hannah’s Hope in Ethiopia and a Hannah’s Hope in Guatemala. Our first country of interest was Haiti. We had traveled there twice. I know French and we both get along tolerably well with Creole. We thought that would REALLY help with our communication during transition.
Haiti recently changed their adoption laws so that if you have two or more biological children, you were ineligible to adopt from Haiti. We have three girls and, therefore, had to choose a different country. Guatemala and Vietnam were closed to adoptions during this time and our next natural choice was Ethiopia.
We began the adoption process in May 2008.
Here is OUR ADOPTION TIMELINE:
Application to All God’s Children International – May'08
Application approved- 6/2008
Home Study Visits – 8/25/08, 8/28/08, 9/5/08
I-600A form sent to USCIS- 9/10/08
Received appointment for CIS fingerprinting- 9/13/08
Fingerprinted at USCIS- 9/20/08
Home Study Completed – 10/3/08
Home Study to USCIS – 10/7/08
Dossier sent to AGCI – 10/13/08
Received 171-H from USCIS - 10/16/08
Dossier arrived in Portland, AGCI - 10/16/08
Dossier to D.C for authentication- 10/27/08
Referral of Samuel Haftom- 11/5/08
Accepted Referral of Samuel Haftom -11/6/08
Dossier to Ethiopia-11/6/08
International Pediatrician Appointment - 11/10/08
Official acceptance of Samuel Haftom – 11/11/08
Referral Paperwork sent to AGCI - 11/17/08
Baggie O' Love sent to Ethiopia - 12/5/08
Travel Paperwork arrived - 12/5/08
Travel Call (with AGCI) - 12/17/08
Received Court Date-12/17/08
Court Date is -1/9/09
Found out Samuel Haftom is our son!- 1/20/09
Leave for Ethiopia-2/14/09
Gotcha Day-2/16/09
Home from Ethiopia-2/20/09
Our family is complete!
A process that usually takes 1 to 1½ years took us 8 ½ months which is similar to giving birth to a child! God is AMAZING!
FINANCES:
Small court settlement – We were unaware that we had funds coming to us for a Class Action Lawsuit. It was exactly what we needed to apply to AGCI in May. The check was for $257 and the application fee $250.
Economic stimulus check – Our next step was the homestudy. This was going to cost $1,500. Our check arrived in the amount of $1,200 in time to help make our first payment to AGCI to pay for the homestudy.
Debt owed to us by others – We got an email around the 4th of July stating that we could proceed with our adoption as soon as we pay our $9,000. It appeared that God had closed the adoption door. Then someone asked to meet with Steve on some unrelated issues. At the beginning of the meeting, they mentioned that they had just discovered that they owed us some money. Seve asked them “How much?” and they replied $9,500. As it turned out, it was closer to $6,000 but the door had been KICKED WIDE OPEN! ISN’T GOD’S GRACE AMAZING!
A small retirement account – We used much of these funds to pay that second payment. AND, there was going to be NO penalty or tax liability for this withdrawal.
We got a telephone call from AGCI for our Post-Adoption fee payment of $5,300. We made a deal with AGCI to pay $3,300 because $2,000 could be postponed until travel. We were hoping that some adoption grants would arrive prior to our trip to Ethiopia.
GRANTS WE HAD APPLIED FOR:
Gift of Adoption (applied 10/1) -- They said NO on 11/7/08
God's Grace Adoption Ministry (applied 10/1) THEY SAID NO ON 11/28
Help Us Adopt(applied 10/1) THEY SAID NO ON 12/5.
Our Creator's Hope (applied 11/5?) –They seem to indicate they don’t have our application
Ohio Department of Job and Family Services - $2,000 for “non-recurring expenses”- Applied late November and they said yes in December. I submitted paperwork the end of February and we are waiting for payment.
Promise the Children (applied 12/2)
Sea of Faces (applied 6/09)
Shaohannah’s Hope (applied 10/1)- YES!!! $2,000
On 12/29, we got an email from AGCI stating that we had to pay our remaining $2,000 in order to travel. It is AGCI’s policy that all fees are paid in full by travel. We looked at each other and wondered where THAT was going to come from….
THAT afternoon, we got a letter in the mail from Shohannah's Hope (Steven Curtis Chapman’s adoption grant) and we were given
$2,000
towards our adoption that goes straight to AGCI! WOO HOO! We were told that we wouldn't hear from them before January so were SHOCKED when there was a letter in our mailbox in December!
Lifesong For Orphans(applied 11/17)- YES, Matching grant of $2,500
(Told us 2/4/09)
When Lifesong for Orphans called me on 2/4/09 on my cell phone, we were at THIS stage of our adoption:
Received Court Date-12/17/08
Court Date is -1/9/09
Found out Samuel Haftom is our son!- 1/20/09
Leave for Ethiopia-2/14/09
We were TEN days away from traveling to Ethiopia! TEN DAYS! God sure was ON TIME…certainly not EARLY!! Thankfully, I had a full and complete “to do” list and my brain was “with it” enough to compile our list of potential donors and create a support letter. It was in the mail by 2/7/09!!!!
We contacted Lifesong March 4, 2009 to find out where we stood and we had raised enough to MATCH their $2,500 donation! So we were getting AT LEAST $6,410 mailed out to AGCI in the near future! WOW! We were going to be able to make a SERIOUS dent in the loan we used for our travel expenses!
We are still waiting for $2,000 from the Dept. of Job and Family Services.
We are still waiting for $4,100 from our medical “insurance”.
We MAY apply for the SEA of FACES grant once this is all said and done.
Most families are able to “write off” a portion of their adoption expenses over the course of five years. We do not really have that luxury. We are blessed to have a portion of our salary as “housing allowance” which is not taxed. Therefore, we do not have much money owed in Federal Tax in the first place….
So, we may apply for that additional grant to help offset remaining travel expenses….
On February 16, 2009, we met our son face to face for the first time in Addis Ababa, Ethiopia. We arrived in the Columbus International Airport and became at family of SIX at 2:00 in the afternoon on February 20, 2009.
We are adjusting to our “new normal” quite well! The sisters LOVE having a brother around! My brain has gone from having “three girls and one boy” to having the “two big girls and the little ones”.
So…. “new normal” is ON IT’S WAY! AND WE CAN’T WAIT! To learn about the day to day life of our family of six, we can be found HERE.
So many have asked about our adoption story…because they’re considering adoption, love missions, are impressed with our son’s ability to adapt (PRAISE THE LORD)… or for a variety of other reasons.
So we have compiled our story all in one place so we can direct people there and not miss any of the AWESOME things that God has done in our family! It also allows you to read at your convenience rather than visit with us for an hour to get all the details!
If you are considering adoption, WE WILL GLADLY SHARE ALL AND HELP ALL WE CAN…AND PRAY FOR YOU DURING THE PROCESS…so, please tell us so we can celebrate with you!
OUR ADOPTION STORY: How Little Man Came To Be OURS!
We have always been open to the idea of adoption. Early in our marriage, we didn’t know if we’d be able to have children easily because both Steve’s sister and my brother had issues with getting pregnant in their marriages.
Between 2002 and now, we had traveled to Haiti twice and the Dominican Republic twice on mission trips with our church. We also visited an orphanage in Roatan, Honduras one year. Our first trip to Haiti was with 15 other individuals. Throughout that one week, in different villages where we worked, seven different parents tried to hand us their babies and said in Creole “Mwen bi” which means “I give”. In Haiti, 50% of the children die before the age of 15 years and some don’t even name their baby until it is over a month old so they don’t “waste” a name on a child that might die. Our eyes were opened to the needs of the world.
In October 2006, an event was held to assist couples in strengthening their marriage. At that event, Steven Curtis Chapman came and sang “When Love Takes You In” and the music video was shown.
The song that really started it all
WHEN LOVE TAKES YOU IN
by STEVEN CURTIS CHAPMAN
I know you've heard the stories
But they all sound too good to be true
You've heard about a place called home
But there doesn't seem to be one for you
So one more night you cry yourself to sleep
And drift off to a distant dream
Where love takes you in and everything changes
A miracle starts with the beat of a heart
When love takes you home and says you belong here
The loneliness ends and a new life begins
When love takes you in
And somewhere while you're sleeping
Someone else is dreaming too
Counting down the days until
They hold you close and say I love you
And like the rain that falls into the sea
In a moment what has been is lost in what will be
When love takes you in everything changes
A miracle starts with the beat of a heart
And this love will never let you go
There is nothing that could ever
Cause this love to lose its hold
When love takes you in everything changes
A miracle starts with the beat of a heart
When love takes you home and says you belong here
The loneliness ends and a new life begins
When love takes you in it takes you in for good
When love takes you in
In this video were children of all ages and backgrounds who were sad, lonely and parentless who needed and deserved parents to love them. Later in the video, they were being held by parents or walking on the beach holding hands with their parents. Yes, it was only a video, but we found that (in the three minutes of that song) both Steve and I were completely broken. As a matter of fact, I was sobbing and noticed that Steve seemed to be chuckling at me. I was NOT happy about that and turned to slap him on the arm….He was NOT chuckling…We were both sobbing and fully aware that we HAD to adopt. (Very few individuals were reacting in the same manner to the SAME material.)
For the entire month of November 2006, our family decided to pray hard about how God wanted us to proceed. We took the children out to dinner at Olive Garden to talk “seriously” with them and make this a special occasion. They were all three positive. God had prepared THEIR hearts as well. We told them finances would be tighter and they might have to do their regular chores without any allowance… We wanted them to realize this decision WAS going to affect them. One daughter held out her hands like the “scales of justice” and weighed them up and down. She said “Come on. Allowance or a child. Allowance or a child.” We were SO amazed at how mature our children are!
We did not believe we had any clear guidance at the end of November 2006…so we left it with “God will drop a child in our laps.”
In 2007, Steve had a lunch meeting with a church parishioner and the parishioner started telling him about a lady who was pregnant and giving the child up for adoption. We thought THIS might be God’s answer to our prayers. The parishioner told Steve that the grandparents had decided to raise the child…so this was not the answer we were waiting for.
THEN, March of 2008, everything changed! Steve was at a Pastor and Leaders meeting for the church of God. He reconnected with a wonderful friend who had just recently adopted! Steve shared our heart for adoption with her…she said “Steve, sometimes you have to walk through the door that is already open. See if God closes the door.”
AND THAT WAS THE BEGINNING OF OUR JOURNEY!
One Sunday at the close of the sermon, Steve asked for individuals to pray with their family members or those around them. At that time, he came up to me and said we needed to pray about moving forward with our adoption!
WHAT!??
I had patiently waited for those VERY WORDS for 1 year and 4 months… You don’t have to tell me twice. I began searching for an adoption agency the very next week!
We decided to find a quality adoption agency FIRST and then decide which country to adopt from. We chose All God’s Children International because of their amazing orphanage, Hannah’s Hope. They have a Hannah’s Hope in Ethiopia and a Hannah’s Hope in Guatemala. Our first country of interest was Haiti. We had traveled there twice. I know French and we both get along tolerably well with Creole. We thought that would REALLY help with our communication during transition.
Haiti recently changed their adoption laws so that if you have two or more biological children, you were ineligible to adopt from Haiti. We have three girls and, therefore, had to choose a different country. Guatemala and Vietnam were closed to adoptions during this time and our next natural choice was Ethiopia.
We began the adoption process in May 2008.
Here is OUR ADOPTION TIMELINE:
Application to All God’s Children International – May'08
Application approved- 6/2008
Home Study Visits – 8/25/08, 8/28/08, 9/5/08
I-600A form sent to USCIS- 9/10/08
Received appointment for CIS fingerprinting- 9/13/08
Fingerprinted at USCIS- 9/20/08
Home Study Completed – 10/3/08
Home Study to USCIS – 10/7/08
Dossier sent to AGCI – 10/13/08
Received 171-H from USCIS - 10/16/08
Dossier arrived in Portland, AGCI - 10/16/08
Dossier to D.C for authentication- 10/27/08
Referral of Samuel Haftom- 11/5/08
Accepted Referral of Samuel Haftom -11/6/08
Dossier to Ethiopia-11/6/08
International Pediatrician Appointment - 11/10/08
Official acceptance of Samuel Haftom – 11/11/08
Referral Paperwork sent to AGCI - 11/17/08
Baggie O' Love sent to Ethiopia - 12/5/08
Travel Paperwork arrived - 12/5/08
Travel Call (with AGCI) - 12/17/08
Received Court Date-12/17/08
Court Date is -1/9/09
Found out Samuel Haftom is our son!- 1/20/09
Leave for Ethiopia-2/14/09
Gotcha Day-2/16/09
Home from Ethiopia-2/20/09
Our family is complete!
A process that usually takes 1 to 1½ years took us 8 ½ months which is similar to giving birth to a child! God is AMAZING!
FINANCES:
Small court settlement – We were unaware that we had funds coming to us for a Class Action Lawsuit. It was exactly what we needed to apply to AGCI in May. The check was for $257 and the application fee $250.
Economic stimulus check – Our next step was the homestudy. This was going to cost $1,500. Our check arrived in the amount of $1,200 in time to help make our first payment to AGCI to pay for the homestudy.
Debt owed to us by others – We got an email around the 4th of July stating that we could proceed with our adoption as soon as we pay our $9,000. It appeared that God had closed the adoption door. Then someone asked to meet with Steve on some unrelated issues. At the beginning of the meeting, they mentioned that they had just discovered that they owed us some money. Seve asked them “How much?” and they replied $9,500. As it turned out, it was closer to $6,000 but the door had been KICKED WIDE OPEN! ISN’T GOD’S GRACE AMAZING!
A small retirement account – We used much of these funds to pay that second payment. AND, there was going to be NO penalty or tax liability for this withdrawal.
We got a telephone call from AGCI for our Post-Adoption fee payment of $5,300. We made a deal with AGCI to pay $3,300 because $2,000 could be postponed until travel. We were hoping that some adoption grants would arrive prior to our trip to Ethiopia.
GRANTS WE HAD APPLIED FOR:
Gift of Adoption (applied 10/1) -- They said NO on 11/7/08
God's Grace Adoption Ministry (applied 10/1) THEY SAID NO ON 11/28
Help Us Adopt(applied 10/1) THEY SAID NO ON 12/5.
Our Creator's Hope (applied 11/5?) –They seem to indicate they don’t have our application
Ohio Department of Job and Family Services - $2,000 for “non-recurring expenses”- Applied late November and they said yes in December. I submitted paperwork the end of February and we are waiting for payment.
Promise the Children (applied 12/2)
Sea of Faces (applied 6/09)
Shaohannah’s Hope (applied 10/1)- YES!!! $2,000
On 12/29, we got an email from AGCI stating that we had to pay our remaining $2,000 in order to travel. It is AGCI’s policy that all fees are paid in full by travel. We looked at each other and wondered where THAT was going to come from….
THAT afternoon, we got a letter in the mail from Shohannah's Hope (Steven Curtis Chapman’s adoption grant) and we were given
$2,000
towards our adoption that goes straight to AGCI! WOO HOO! We were told that we wouldn't hear from them before January so were SHOCKED when there was a letter in our mailbox in December!
Lifesong For Orphans(applied 11/17)- YES, Matching grant of $2,500
(Told us 2/4/09)
When Lifesong for Orphans called me on 2/4/09 on my cell phone, we were at THIS stage of our adoption:
Received Court Date-12/17/08
Court Date is -1/9/09
Found out Samuel Haftom is our son!- 1/20/09
Leave for Ethiopia-2/14/09
We were TEN days away from traveling to Ethiopia! TEN DAYS! God sure was ON TIME…certainly not EARLY!! Thankfully, I had a full and complete “to do” list and my brain was “with it” enough to compile our list of potential donors and create a support letter. It was in the mail by 2/7/09!!!!
We contacted Lifesong March 4, 2009 to find out where we stood and we had raised enough to MATCH their $2,500 donation! So we were getting AT LEAST $6,410 mailed out to AGCI in the near future! WOW! We were going to be able to make a SERIOUS dent in the loan we used for our travel expenses!
We are still waiting for $2,000 from the Dept. of Job and Family Services.
We are still waiting for $4,100 from our medical “insurance”.
We MAY apply for the SEA of FACES grant once this is all said and done.
Most families are able to “write off” a portion of their adoption expenses over the course of five years. We do not really have that luxury. We are blessed to have a portion of our salary as “housing allowance” which is not taxed. Therefore, we do not have much money owed in Federal Tax in the first place….
So, we may apply for that additional grant to help offset remaining travel expenses….
On February 16, 2009, we met our son face to face for the first time in Addis Ababa, Ethiopia. We arrived in the Columbus International Airport and became at family of SIX at 2:00 in the afternoon on February 20, 2009.
We are adjusting to our “new normal” quite well! The sisters LOVE having a brother around! My brain has gone from having “three girls and one boy” to having the “two big girls and the little ones”.
So…. “new normal” is ON IT’S WAY! AND WE CAN’T WAIT! To learn about the day to day life of our family of six, we can be found HERE.